


Five Times...

by littlesolo



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-05-22 08:33:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 7,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6072313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlesolo/pseuds/littlesolo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Various 'Five Times' scenarios</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Five Times They Almost Went On A Date

You would think there would be at least some down time between things and there are, just never at the same time for Maria and Natasha.  

 **1.**  They’ve actually made it to a restaurant and even have their orders in front of them this time.  

Nothing about this date has been well thought out.  Figuring that they had at least twenty four hours before another mission or crisis happened, Maria had invited Natasha to dinner.  One hour later, and a quick shower later, they were off to find someplace to eat.  The only real option had been this new place.  Fusion cuisine something neither of them would normally pick, but they were short on choice and this was the only place that didn’t require a reservation or use laminated menus.  Both were picking at…. whatever it was on their plates and trying to make conversation when Maria’s phone rings.  

Natasha finds it adorable how Maria closes her eyes and clenches her fists, muttering under her breath.  Then she answers her phone.  

“Hill-”

“ _Where’s your fire extinguisher?_ ” shouts Sharon through the phone.  Natasha can hear her from her side of the table and so can a few others judging by the looks from the other tables.  Maria for her part seems stunned and Natasha is biting her lip to keep from laughing.  “ _Maria!_ ”  

“Pantry.  Why…?”

“ _No reason!_ ”  

“ _Tell her to go to a movie while we clean this up_ ” says Kevin in the background. 

“Clean what up?  Sharon!”  

“ _NOTHING!  Go to a movie!_ ”  With that the line goes dead.  Natasha finds Maria looking at her phone with a furrowed brow absolutely adorable.  

“I… have to go home and hope that my apartment is in one piece.  Sorry” says Maria as she flags down the waiter to pay for their meals.  Natasha sighs but can’t help but smirk.  Maria certainly is interesting.  

* * *

 **2.**  Natasha has been looking forward to this all week.  She knows Clint can tell that something is up, but doesn’t really care.  That’s why she misses the look that Clint and Steve share.  

* * *

Maria is nervous.  She takes a deep breath to calm her nerves and lets it out slowly.  

“Don’t you look nice” says Sharon as she comes in the front door.  

“I have a date” answers Maria with a smile.  

“Really!  Who with?”  

“Nat”  Sharon lets out a squeal that she will later deny making.  

“And here I was about to invite you out with me and Kev to go to the bar!  Finally!  It’s about time you two got your acts together!”  Maria’s phone rings and she looks down to see that it’s Natasha.  

“Nat?”  

“ _Hey, just double checking that we’re still on for tonight._ ”  

“Yeah… can’t wait” says Maria, ignoring the look that Sharon is giving her.  She’s aware of how sappy she sounds, thank you.  

“ _Great I- what the hell?_ ”  There’s the sound of a door opening and a struggle.  

“Nat?  Natasha!”  Maria puts her phone on speaker and Sharon comes over to listen in.  

“ _What the hell are you doing!  Get off me!_ ”  Then there’s the sound of Clint’s voice.  

“ _Nothing doing Nat.  You’ve been moody all week and are in need of some down time at the farm.  Steve, help me here before she knocks my head off_ ”  

“ _I have plans!_ ”  

“ _Watching an entire series on Netflix from your couch with Liho is not a plan.  C’mon, this is for your own good_ ”

“ _No!  Wait a minute!  Argh!!_ ”

Maria simply stares at her phone for a few more moments before hanging up.  

“Well, seeing as how my date was just kidnapped, let’s head to the bar” says Maria with a sigh.  Sharon tosses her jacket to her.  

* * *

 **3.**  Natasha has been on all sorts of dates while undercover and a few on her own.  She’s been to five star restaurants and quaint local pubs.  She knows a good date from a bad one and this?  This is stretching the term date a bit far.  Drinks and Chex Mix from the vending machine is the best she can do.  It’s pathetic.  They aren’t even sitting down, they’re leaning against the wall of the hallway that leads back to the bridge.  Maria looks thankful for the interruption all the same so at least there’s that.  

“Tough day?” asks Natasha.  She wants to bang her head against the bulkhead now.  She’d rather talk about anything other than work but it was the first thing that came to mind.  

“Somewhat.  It’s hard to keep this thing in the air with all there incompetent people.  I’m half tempted to boot half of them over the edge of this thing but there’s no guarantee that the next bunch will be any smarter” grumbles Maria.  Natasha smirks.  Maria hadn’t even bothered to lower her voice and it has a few young agents quickening their steps to get away.  

“Can I be of assistance?” offers Nat.  

“Commander!  Mission 094 has been flagged from on the ground!” says a young agent.  Maria groans and hands the bag of mix and drink back over to Natasha and runs back to the bridge.  Natasha sighs and helps herself to another handful before heading back to her quarters.  

* * *

 **4.**  They just keep droning on and on.  Maria is so tired of working with federal agencies and local law enforcement.  She so wishes for the days when they still operated in secret.  She’d come and said her piece and now was just waiting for the jurisdictional pissing match to end to see who she will be working with.  She has about twenty minutes if she wants to make it to her date with Natasha. It’s a lovely little out of the way place that serves the best veggie wraps…  Unfortunately, this meeting isn’t going to be over by then.  She texts Natasha to let her know she can’t make it.  Again.  Maria can practically taste the wrap, it’s been so long since she’s had them and was hoping to share her treat with Nat.  Nat who she’d get to see and try to make laugh with her lame jokes and find something that isn’t work related to talk about.  

She leans back in her seat and tries to think of something to talk to Natasha about.  The room is this close to becoming a screaming match so she goes back to thinking.  Natasha doesn’t seem the type to be into sports, current events are something they only have time to catch up on if they snag a paper.  Music?  Books?  She doesn’t know.  It doesn’t really matter though, does it, because it’s now a half hour later and she’s still sitting in this chair.  

* * *

 **5.**  Natasha can totally still make this date.  She just needs these doctors to hurry it up.  So she’s a little banged up, she catches her reflection in the medical tray and sees her face is turning a nice blackish blue.  Whatever, she’s probably got a shirt that can match it if not distract from it.  Hmm…. eating might be a problem, unless they’re doing finger foods.  She’s got three fingers broken on one hand and possibly the slowest nurse ever is stitching up her wrist…and forearm.  Her phone begins to ring and she fumbles for it a bit before she manages to answer it.  

“Hey you ready?” asks Natasha, her smile making her hurt only slightly more than a twinge.  

“ _No_.”

“What?  Come on!  I’ve been looking forward to it!”

“ _Don’t even think of leaving medical.  Not until you’re cleared and are sure you don’t have a concussion._ ”  

“I can totally do take out!” argues Natasha as she slumps back onto the gurney. 

“ _No, I don’t need you bleeding all over my carpet.  It’ll be more fun when I’m not worried you might pass out.  Get some rest._ ”  Maria hangs up before she can try to argue further.  Well, damn.  

* * *

 **6.**  Maria and Natasha finally get their date but only with a little help.  Pepper clears Maria schedule and Sharon keeps Clint and others from meddling.  Natasha wants to do things right but isn’t sure how to do that.  At this point, a five star place just seems awkward and they feel out of place.  It’s too formal and they try too hard to make a good impression.  It feels more like an undercover op than a real date.  So when Maria suggests a diner that serves the best burgers and shakes, she agrees.  Natasha watches as Maria demolishes a burger that is larger than her mouth.  It’s a different look for the Commander who looks so put together most of the time.  Right now she has ketchup and mustard smeared across her cheeks and chin.  Natasha steals some of Maria’s fries and has to admit that her shake is the best she’s had.  They’re both exhausted from long weeks of missions and other business and it’s all they can do to sit upright.  They have fun just the same and make plans to meet up for lunch.  


	2. ... Natasha and Maria Almost Kissed

It really shouldn’t be this hard.  I mean they’re not even sleeping together.  Who knew it would be so hard to steal a kiss?  

 **1.**  They’re in Maria’s office and Natasha has her backed up against her office door.  Natasha plays with the strands of hair at the base of Maria’s neck and is rubbing her nose against hers.  It’s the first time they’ve had a moment to themselves in almost a week.  She’s about to lean in for a kiss, when the door is forced open and has them stumbling forward.  They had been almost rubbing noses and now their foreheads collide and Natasha is stepping on Maria’s foot. 

“Assistant Director Hill, I have those records you requested!  Oh!  I didn’t know this was a meeting with one of the Avengers.  I’ll just leave these over on your desk” says Agent Patrice.  The moment is ruined and Maria rests her head on Natasha’s shoulder.  

“I thought you locked the door” says Natasha.  

“I did.  I may also need to kill my assistant.”  

* * *

**2.**  Natasha is in medical.  It had been close this time but she’s made it back in one piece.  Maria rushes over to the gurney where she’s sitting.  Natasha gives a weak smirk as Maria gently places her hands on her shoulders and looks her up and down for injury.  Given the way she’s feeling, there isn’t a place that doesn’t feel injured.  Maria runs her fingers against her forehead and moves her hair aside and moves in close.  Only to jerk back.  She presses a dark spot on her uniform and then looks at Natasha.  

“Natasha, your side is bleeding!”  

What?  No!  Not important!  Not as important as them kissing!  But it doesn’t matter, the medical staff is rushing in and moving her gurney.  She turns and watches Maria disappear as she’s rolled away.  

* * *

3\.  This is ridiculous.  Natasha should be able to kiss her girlfriend whenever she wants.  She has half a mind to walk right over and steal a kiss from Maria while she’s at her consoles.  She won’t, but she wants too.  So she waits.  Waits until Maria takes a much needed break.  She walks over to meet Maria and is about to steal a quick kiss when it happens.  A live lockdown.  

**_*Attention!  This is a security alert!  Attention this is a security alert!*_ **

“Oh hell, not again.  This is the second time today.  Pietro is cleared for the facility but the system can’t process his speed.  Oh for fuck’s sake SOMEONE SHUT THAT THING OFF!” shouts Maria as the alarm continues to blare.  

 ** _*Attention!  This is a security alert!  Attention this is a security alert!*_** Maybe later… like when Maria isn’t on a war path….

* * *

 

4\.  This wouldn’t even be a real kiss.  A skype kiss.  Except that their boat is sinking and Clint is trying to bail them out with his boots.  Natasha just doesn’t want to give Maria the impression that all hope is lost of the mission going well, or more importantly that they can have a night together soon.  Except there’s something in the water swimming towards them…. something with a fringe on it’s tail.  Alligator?  Crocodile?   Fading signal!  No!  C’mon!  Maria!  No…!

“We’re fine!  Really!  Not sinking rapidly in the middle of the Amazon river basin or anything…” comments Clint from over her shoulder.  

“Maria?  Maria!  God damnit!  We’ll still see you in three days time!” yells Natasha to the laptop screen that she’s holding above her head.  The water is reaching her elbows now….

* * *

 

5\.  “Hey you” purrs Maria as she gently ruffles Natasha’s hair.  Natasha can hardly move she’s so exhausted.  She raises a bit of her eyelids and makes out a fuzzy Maria.  

“Urg” she mumbles as she reaches out for her lover.  

“Nope.  You rest up for now.  There will be time for that later” says Maria with a grin.  Natasha passes out before she feels Maria’s lips brush against her forehead.  

A kiss is the first things she gets when she wakes though.  


	3. ....Natasha sees Maria in her pajamas

**1.**  She needs a safe spot to regroup.  Clint has gone his way and she went hers but now she’s a bit scattered.  Call her paranoid, but she can’t shake the feelings from the mission.  It had been close and right now she just needs some place safe to think.  That leads her to the closest apartment in the area.  That just happens to be Maria’s.  Maybe she could have knocked quieter…

“Do you have _ANY_ idea what time it is?” barks Maria.  Natasha bites her lip.  As threatening as the voice is, seeing Maria in pajamas makes her seem less than threatening.  A large pale blue shirt and a pair of grey shorts and socks with holes worn in them.  Natasha is sort of stuck gaping at the bed head that adorably sticks out every which way and the bleary way Maria is rubbing at her eyes.  “Well!?!”  

“Um can I crash here till morning?” asks a still stunned Natasha.  Maria grumbles something but leaves the door open behind her for the assassin to trail after her.  

* * *

 **2.**  It’s apparently some sort of family tradition.  The Barton’s wait for Santa, or at least attempt to.  Maria is there only due to some paper work formalities but has been asked to stay the night.  So there, in the living room, behind the sofa with the knitted quilt, stands Maria Hill nursing a mug of hot cocoa.  

“Well there’s something I’d never see.  Maria in MUTTS pajamas” says Natasha softly since Lila and Cooper lie snuggled nearby.  Little Nate is in his room, a bit young for this mission.  

“Early X-Mas gift from Lila and Cooper.  He wants me to stay on and help with some secret project from his dad.  I suspect a boxcar racer.”  Natasha smiles, picturing Maria on her hands and knees with little Cooper handing her tools.  It warms her heart to think that the Commander has been taken in by her little family as well.  

* * *

 **3.**  The next time is in a panic.  A pair of well worn pajamas well soaked in blood.  Old sweats really is all.  It had been a blitz attack on one of their informants.  Maria had sensed something coming, but not like this.  There is so much blood coming from her chest and she and Clint are forced back as the medics and doctors work on her, Maria still trying to give them orders despite spitting up blood.  Sharon and Kevin arrive next and it’s all muffled as Clint tries to explain what happened.  Natasha isn’t paying attention to anything but their commander.  She hadn’t managed to say anything, but Natasha knows her orders.  Protect their informant.  With that in mind, Natasha turns to look after their guest.  She can do that much.  

* * *

 **4.**  Maria hasn’t slept in days.  Natasha knows than much because the pjs she’s wearing now are beginning to smell.  Somehow her mission went sideways.  Her mission that had six months of back work into it, thousands of man hours, and shouldn’t have gone wrong.  Unless there was a leak.  Someone had spoken out of turn and she’d lost two squads and their confidential informant. She will trace the source of the leak and find how this went wrong and Natasha will help her in anyway she can.  

* * *

 **5.**  This time when she sees Maria in her sleep wear it’s different.  Maria is waiting for her.  She pulls off her top and changes into one of her work shirts.  It’s not quite a relationship yet, more just a burning off of steam for the moment, but Natasha knows they’ll get there in time.  For now it’s a release and Natasha enjoys watching and cataloguing each freckle and every whimper when ever they have down time together.  But the job is always there, isn't it?  Sigh.  


	4. ...Maria Wonders

Maria wonders after many things and one of those things happens to be the Black Widow.  

 **1.**  Clint had made the offer she suggested and brought back the infamous Black Widow.  When Maria sees her, she’s just… a young woman.  Lethal, she reminds herself, but young all the same.  Or maybe not given the stories that go back to WWII… but she is small and looks lost.  Maria can’t help but wonder what her story is, what brought her here.  Not Barton.  Maybe another chance is all she does really need.  Maybe they can do that.  

 **2.**  The Hawk and Spider work well together but this time Natasha comes back injured enough to need the medical team.  Maria watches as Natasha stiffly allows the medics to examine her.  Maria wonders if she’s ever had this many people worry after her welfare like this before.  The head doctor spots Maria and gives her a nod prompting Natasha to spin and look at her.  Their eyes meet and Maria wonders what she’s thinking.  

 **3.**  They’re friends of sorts now.  But Maria wonders if that’s true or if Natasha is just keeping her close.  They don’t hangout per se, but tend to gravitate towards each other.  The Spider prefers tea on cool mornings and her company during Stark’s fundraisers.  They chat about a few things non work related.  

 **4.**  There is a nuke headed towards New York and Natasha is not like the others.  She has no super suit to fly away or super powers to get herself out of there.  No shield to protect her.  Somewhere along the way, the small spy has become more than a friend and in this instance Maria has failed her.  She has no way to save her, her warning to Fury having come too late.  She wonders, having given up on prayer ages ago, how they will make it out of this one.  

 **5.**  SHIELD is gone but the red haired assassin remains by her side.  There are freckles at the nape of her neck, and Maria finds them adorable and rubs them with her nose before placing kisses on every one she finds.  Natasha moans and her hips buck as Maria begins to move her fingers beneath the sheets.    
“Tired already?”  
“Never” retorts Natasha as she leans back for a searing kiss.  Maria wonders if she’ll ever tire of this.  She doubts it.  


	5. ....Maria was Shot

Maria isn’t above field work.  She’s one of the few other people that Clint and Natasha both work seamlessly with.  But on the rare occasion she gets hit it sends Natasha into a panic.  

 **1.**  The first time they’re just wrapping things up.  The new team announced the area was clear so Clint and Natasha relax.  Maria is barking orders into her radio when it happens.  The shots come off the roof and strike her in the chest. Natasha watches as Maria falls and then pulls herself behind the car.  Clint spins in place and takes out the shooter with an arrow.  Natasha’s heart is in her throat as she rushes over to Maria’s side.  Maria’s on the ground and cursing, pulling at her vest.  

“Son of a bitch…”  

“Easy, take it easy alright?  That was a sniper rifle, a high powered shot” soothes Natasha as she tries to ease Maria’s arms away.  Maria’s hands are shaking due to adrenaline.  

“I think I’ve got a couple of broken ribs, goddamn it” groans Maria.  Natasha waves medical over.  She can’t get the image of Maria’s body jerking backwards out of her head.  She shakes her mind clear though as Maria argues with the medics as she’s loaded up.  

 **2.**  The second time Maria is shot, Natasha doesn’t notice.  Clint is driving and trying to shake off the tail that is following and shooting at them.  Natasha is in the passenger seat and ducking down.  Maria is returning fire as Clint swerves around a corner.  Natasha lets out a sigh of relief and shares a grin with Clint.  Maria is being surprisingly quiet, Natasha realizes and turns back to look at her.  That’s when she sees the blood stain on the lower part of Maria’s button down.  Natasha lurches over the seat and applies pressure to the wound.  Maria groans and winces as Natasha yells at Clint to drive.  

“You hold on okay?” urges Natasha.  Thinking back, the only way it could have happened was when they were diving in as Clint pulled up to the curb.  Maria had practically thrown her into her seat.  Medical is waiting for them and they take Maria off to surgery.  Natasha calls Sharon and settles in the waiting room. 

 **3.**  A revenge mission is what gets Maria shot the third time.  She’s shot through the hand.  Natasha and Steve rush down through the carrier when they hear about it.  Maria is being seen to by a medic, but Maria is busy glaring at the dead body across the room.  Natasha can hear her cursing from the doorway.  Natasha notes that she’s been shot in the right hand.  She knows Maria’s ambidextrous but is left hand dominate.  At least there’s that.  

 **4.**  You know, you’d think the odds of being shot when there aren’t any firearms would be tricky but a speargun is sort of a gun, isn’t it?  It’s not quite shot either though.  The spear goes through the shoulder of Maria’s life vest and not her shoulder.  It’s close enough to give everyone pause since this is meant to be a demonstration, but with Patrice leading the demo, maybe they should have expected something of a close call.  

 **5.**  The next time Natasha sees Maria shot, she can’t stand it, especially since she gets hit shoving Natasha clear.  The bullet grazes her jaw and goes up past the bottom of her ear and zips off somewhere behind her.  It’s too close and Natasha grabs at her collar and yanks her to the ground.  

“ _Keep your head down_ ” she growls into blue eyes.  

“ _Then don’t get shot at_ ” answers Maria.  

“ _You–_ ” Natasha’s hand is tracing wound left behind across the side of Maria’s face with her fingertips.  

“Later, you.  Let’s concentrating on not dying for now” says Maria with a smirk and a glint in her eye.  Natasha sighs and nods before covering her from behind against on coming gunfire.  


	6. ... Held Hands

It’s a small gesture but it speaks volumes.  

1\. There are still some who believe that Natasha would actually fight for them so every so often they send her on a deathtrap of a mission.  Now she waits for her evac with three bullet holes in her and her hand stained with blood from where she’s applying pressure on her thigh.  The sound of chopper blades had never been so welcome.  The medics load her up and go to work on her leg.  That’s when someone takes her hand.  Her hand, bloodied and all.  

“Well done agent” says Maria Hill with a squeeze to her hand.  It fills her with a sense of relief.  With Commander Hill, she’s safe.  

2\.  Once again, this is Jasper Sitwell’s doing.  This is well before they knew he was a traitor.  On the bridge Maria takes the news that she has lost two teams very stoically.  It’s almost unnerving, which is what prompts Natasha to follow her to one of the break rooms.  There Maria paces back and forth, running every aspect of the mission through her head.  Her heads are shaking with adrenaline she has nothing to do with.  Natasha reaches out and takes her hand as Maria shakes them out once again.  It makes Maria pause in her stride and after a moment, sit down next to Natasha on the couch.  It’s the closest Natasha comes to seeing the other woman openly cry.  

3\.  Maria has been infected with something.  In Natasha’s opinion, it was remarkably stupid to allow Maria to open an unknown package without safety protocols in place.  Now she’s convulsing on a stretcher in medical.  Natasha doesn’t know what do except help hold her down while the doctors try to inject her with something.  Maria clasps her hand around Natasha’s desperately and Natasha simply holds on.  

4\.  It’s not quite holding hands as much as it is holding on for dear life.  Natasha and Clint had just boarded the quin jet and they’re going up when the jet is jarred and Natasha goes tumbling backwards and into Maria.  It’s Maria’s hold on her hand and arm that keep her from falling out the hatch as the jet readjusts.  Her grip is firm and sure and Natasha knows she won’t let go.  Maria is one of the few people Natasha fully trusts aside from Clint.  

5\.  They’re under cover and the way Natasha rubs her thumb across the back of her hand is driving Maria to distraction.  Her palm is soft and fingers gentle but the callouses on her fingertips trace a faint pattern.  Maria wonders if there’s more to it, but then quickly remembers that it’s all a part of their con.  Except Natasha never lets go.  


	7. ....Maria and Natasha are in Medical

Jack should really get paid more for his job.  Well, actually, he is paid well and they paid off all his student loans…but still, Black Widow’s glare is deadly and he’s faced that too many times.  Commander Hill’s glare is a close second and he feels he’s been on the receiving end of that too many times in his SHIELD career.  

 **1.**  One of his first shifts on the helicarrier involved removing three bullets from the Black Widow.  Commander Hill was present as the spy was brought in.  

“Just patch me up and let me go” said Natasha.  He had turned to look at their commanding officer.  

“Do it right” ordered Commander Hill.  Leon bit his lip to keep from even smirking at the fact that the assassin slumped and seemed to pout at the statement.  He must give something away though, because it earns him a glare from Agent Romanoff.  Not the best first impression.  Actually he thinks he winces more than she does when he removes the bullets.  Two are in her upper shoulder, but it’s the one in her forearm that will put her out of commission for a bit.  She looks ready to stab him when he says that.  

 **2.**  He’s just as shaken as everyone else and is after Loki’s attack on the carrier but has kept working just like everyone else.  One of the places attacked was medical.  Still, it’s not until after the Avengers return that Maria Hill finally visits.  He is carefully removing bits of glass and metal from the wounds on the Commander’s forehead when Natasha steps in, leaving Clint’s side for a moment while he’s seen by others.  

“How’s she doing?” asks the Widow.  

“Minor cuts and some large abrasions….” and then he feels the glare aimed at his head and knows that the question wasn’t really meant for him.  

“I’m fine Nat” says Maria softly, gently.  Jack steals a quick glance at his patient.  Her eyes are soft yet concerned as she watches the Widow.  

“Broken ribs?” asks Natasha, jarring him from the quiet.  He looks at his Commander before ducking and giving a nod.  “I’m going to sit with Clint until Laura gets on Skype.  I’ll see you later.”  Maria nods, messing his stitches a bit. 

 **3.**  The next time Natasha brings Maria into to see him.  Maria’s hands are swollen from what looks like boxing.  That’s when he notices the two broken fingers.  Aside from straightening them and taping them together, there’s not a lot he can do, but he suspects Natasha has brought her to make a point.  He does his job silently as Maria slouches from exhaustion and Natasha watches and hands her good hand a water bottle.  He trusts the Widow to look after her. 

 **4.**  Following Ultron’s attack, Maria is the one to help a limping Natasha into medical.  No one comments on the body of the young speedster on one of the bed.  It’ll be a long recovery for him.  

“Mind the ankle, Paterson” orders Commander Hill gently.  

“Yes, Ma’am.”  He doesn’t comment on how the Commander is bleeding herself from her forearm.  They all manage to escape the bots.  

“See to yourself too Paterson.”  That’s the first time she remembered his name.  He’d almost gotten used to being called Patton.  

 **5.**  The fifth time he’s hardly involved.  Natasha is rushed in after a mission.  There’s so much blood.  The Commander and Clint Barton hang back and pace while the surgeons go to work  on her and he’s tasked with bringing extra supplies and blood.  She pulls through.  He’s relieved, he’s gotten to like her.  Also it keeps the others from pacing the hallway.  While Barton does stay a while, it’s the Commander who remains by the bed holding her hand.  


	8. Natasha Sees Maria Cry

Maria  does her best to make sure no one sees her with her walls down.  Natasha just happens to catch her at these times. ****

 **1.**  The first time is with relief.  At least that’s what she remembers.  The whole incident is a bit fuzzy.  They’re on EVAC after Budapest and everything is a bit hazy due to blood loss.  She and Clint made it out by the skin of their teeth.  Natasha had known what she’d been risking but had vowed to get Clint back home to Laura.  She’d barely been able to keep her word.  

“ _No.  No!  We employ her because of her skill set and that told her that this was going to be a cock up from the beginning!  We should have listened Phil.  You should have listened!  We nearly lost them both!  We failed them.”_ That’s all Natasha remembers.  That and the sound of tears in Maria’s voice.  

2\.  The second time is by accident.  The team that Maria had carefully recruited and trained had been slaughtered.  A trusted associate had turned on them and no one had seen it coming.  What was worse was how close they had been to uncovering something.  They were waiting for a satellite uplink before disclosing what they’d found and someone had taken advantage of that.  They’d blown up the comm station.  Maria retreats to her office and that’s where Natasha finds her when Fury sends her searching.  Her shoulders shake and her hand is over her mouth to stifle the sobs.  Natasha takes a deep breath and then knocks.  

“Commander?”  

“They had no one.  Any of them.  That’s why we recruit them, right?  No families or friends.  There’s no one…. no one to tell.”  

“They had you” says Natasha.  It’s not much, but it’s true.  Maria scoffs.  

“Look how well that worked out for them.”  She wipes at her face angrily before nodding towards the door and following Natasha out.  

3\.  It had just been a suggestion, geez.  But no, Phil’s suggestion of making Agent Patrice her assistant has Maria laughing so hard she’s crying.  It’s a refreshing scene to say the least.  Little do they know, Fury will love the idea and make it real.  

4\.  When SHIELD falls she sees Maria cry twice.  Once while they watch Nick fake his death.  The second time is in the compound.  Maria is looking around and taking in the faces.  She cries angry tears of frustration.  There are so few faces here that she knows.  She knows them all, but just to nod at.  The ones she knew well are either dead or traitors.  She feels alone until Natasha rests a hand on her shoulder.  Maybe not so alone.  

5\.  Maria cries openly after Natasha returns from the robot battle.  It’s one thing to believe that the Avengers can save the day, and that’s much easier to do when you’re not facing the dangers yourself.  But one of the Ultron bots had made it’s way into the carrier and had aimed itself at Maria.  She had shot at it and it had kept coming.  Terror had filled her, knowing that that was all Natasha had with her.  Her guns and batons against hundreds of murderous robots.  So when she sees her again, after Nat tries to contact Banner, she doesn’t hold back her tears of relief as she wraps her arms around her lover.  She’s safe.  They both are.  


	9. ...they fantasize about what it would be like to be married and happily retired each other

It strikes at the oddest times, the notion of what could be.  

 **1.**  Natasha is simply people watching the first time it strikes her.  She’s watching how the school children run to their parents, able to filter out their greeting from those of the others.  Identify their parents voice.  She idly wonders if that would be her some day.  Having children of her own run towards her and Maria as they picked them up after school.  Would their children run to them like Lila and Cooper every time they visit?

 **2.**  The fantasy comes especially after long bouts of leave.  When they’re stretched out in between the sheets and still smell like sex.  When they don’t have to hide heated gazes or even just a shared laugh.  They’re freer.  A laugh a smile between the two on the carrier sets the whole place buzzing.   _Do you think?  Are they….?_  They don’t hide out of shame they simply prefer to remain private.  But here, in Maria’s apartment, they don’t have to be.  There are shared shy smiles and looks of amazement.  Of ‘how did we get here’ and ‘how did I get this lucky’.  Except it never lasts because there’s always another emergency, another crisis.  

 **3.**  Even when she’s in medical, the fantasies come.  Natasha is healing from multiple wounds but wonders if this could be them in another life.  Her taking it easy from something as mundane as maybe a running injury?  Stepped off the curb wrong?  Something everyday rather than bullets and bruises.  And Maria, who visits and dotes in every spare moment she can find.  Maybe she’s a lawyer rather than second in command, juggling briefs and motions rather than lives and missions.  If only.  

 **4.**  They see so much violence.  Everything in a mission is about preparation, and ground work and follow through along with trade craft and effectiveness.  Single serving meals from the cafeteria.  Long planning sessions.  What if she’d been a teacher instead?  She meets Nat when she picks up her niece and nephew from school?  Molding little minds instead of picking away at adult ones.  

 **5.**  Grocery shopping.  Buying vodka without considering the fact that it works as Nat’s disinfectant of choice.  Buying trail mix because it’s her snack of choice rather than the only thing that will get her through long meetings.  Buying anything and thinking that it might not have to be replaced if she has to burn it all and run.  Run away with Natasha because things have gotten too hot where they are.  

In every dream scenario, every fantasy, they’re always together.  That never changes.  Still though, their lives as they are, they’re tolerable only because they’re in together.  


	10. ...Natasha gets irrationally jealous

For the record, Natasha never had anything to worry about except for maybe Maria’s obliviousness.  

1\.  Most of those who went through the academy with them, know that Sharon and Maria are like sisters.  Where you find one, you find the other, when they’re off duty at least.  

Natasha doesn’t know this.  Clint however, does but is content to sit back and watch.  

Maria often spars with Sharon when Natasha isn’t around.  This morning the two of them have gone for a run.  Natasha watches as Sharon gives Maria a playful shove and Maria lets out a laugh before quickening her pace.  

It’s not spying….it’s making sure that the Commander is safe.  Natasha furrows her brow as she watches every touch between them.  This is hardly the Ice Queen she’s used to seeing.  Still, she doesn’t conceal her glare.  

2\.  If most know about Sharon, they know about Kevin and how he’s Sharon’s little brother.  Natasha comes across them in the cafeteria.  Maria is leaning against him in laughter, the boy’s ears red at the tips.  His ears seem to go even redder when he realizes that Natasha is glaring.  Whatever they’re discussing is some what personal.  

“Nat!  C’mere!” says Maria, and Natasha forces a smile on her face.  

“Beth would say yes if Kevin asked her out, right?” asks Maria as Kevin ducks his face into his hands.  

“Sure” she replies as she feels her face relax.  She has no idea what they’re talking about, but he isn’t interested in Maria.  

“See, wha’d I tell you?” says Maria as she ruffles his hair.  

3\.  This is… intolerable.  She’s watching Rhodey and Maria glide across the floor at one of Stark’s galas.  Right now she hates Stark, Pepper, Rhodey, and Clint for his smart ass smirk.  He knows she’s thinking about Maria.  According to him, it’s all over her face.  Apparently, she’s just about as green as the hulk.  

4\.  Why on earth is Maria spending so much time with Banner?  Clint says Bruce a crush of his own.  So maybe Natasha coaxed Tony into a new project.  That means more lab time and more pestering of his favorite lab buddy.  Less free time to chat with Maria.  

5\.  This time it’s a mission.  All Maria has to do is sit there and look pretty.  This time Natasha is there as back up.  Sniper in the next building.  Every laugh and smile that Maria gives the mark, makes her skin crawl.  A necessary evil.  After she’s done with the mark, she gets thrown for a loop though.  

“Hey Nat, mind joining me for a drink?”  


	11. we were never alone and the one time we were

1\.  Natasha wants to go check and see how Maria is doing.  She heard about the cave in from one of the other agents.  Except she’s on Captain duty.  She escorts Steve Rogers to the bridge and that’s when she finally gets a glimpse of her.  A few scrapes and scratches but she seems no worse for wear.  She can’t find out otherwise due to the full bridge but she itches to see how bad things are for herself.  The look on Maria’s face says things are going to get worse.  

2\.  After the attack on the bridge, Maria wants to know that Natasha is okay except she’s still got this ringing in her ears and so many other things to see to.  There are the injured and the dead.  The repairs necessary after the Hulk’s rampage.  She watches at the jet takes off.  

3\.  Maria knows that Natasha needs to be seen to but she wants to hold her and reassure herself that she’s really here.  It’s not just her world that has fallen apart.  When she sees Fury, she knows things have changed.  The difference between being able to basically trust someone and really trust someone is huge and she wants a chance to explain.  Explain that she hadn’t known it wasn’t really.  That she’d thought him dead too.  Except there’s Sam and Steve and a handful of other agents all around.  

4\.  She’s sitting there just pulling glass out of her foot like no big deal.  Natasha wants to make sure that she’s really okay, but they have Ultron to worry about.  The psychotic robot who has promised to kill them all.  Bruce makes his way over to help and Natasha wants to slug him for his part in all this.  He should have known better.  She wants him no where near Maria.  Him and his little crush of his.  

5\.  She wants to make sure Natasha is okay.  Wants to know if she thinks she has to run.  But there’s a witch asleep in the back seat.  She wants her to know that if she runs, she’ll come too.  But she doesn’t have to run.  Neither of them do.  Maria can hold off Secretary Ross.  And she’d tell her all this and that she loves her.  But there’s a witch in the back seat, asleep.  

When they do have a moment alone, Natasha says she has no intention of running.  She feels safe by Maria’s side.  Maria is able to see for herself that she is no worse for wear.  They’re both okay.  For now.  


	12. I broke into your apartment and the one time I didn’t have to

1\.  The first time is only because Maria’s place is closest.  She takes in modern yet minimalist design.  Natasha patches herself up and leaves without a trace but a reminder to herself of it’s location.  

2\.  The second time she’s nearly shot.  All she meant to do was curl up on the sofa for a few hours before checking in officially.  It takes three close bullets for her to realize that someone had already been on the sofa.  She had landed on something soft with an ‘omph’ and then heard the sound of someone grabbing a gun.  She manages to vault over the back of the couch and behind a chair before throwing her hands up in surrender.  

“What the hell are you doing?!” asks Maria, gun now lowered.     
“I thought I’d crash here for a few hours.  Don’t you have a bed to sleep in?”  Come to think of it, the stove still has plastic wrap on it and nothing looks very well used except the couch…  
“I never got that far” admits Maria.  She tosses a set of sheets to the assassin and makes her way back to the bedroom.  She’ll take care of the bullet holes in the morning.  

3\.  The third time, she interrupts a date.  Or a would be date.  Either way, she isn’t sorry.    
“Look Chad, I got to go…”    
“Sure.  But how about dinner?  Tonight?”  
“I can’t I uh-”  Natasha makes more noise than necessary coming in.  “I have a friend staying with me.”  Maria opens a new bottle of vodka just for her that night.  

4\.  The fourth time, Maria is ready and waiting with bandages.    
“Why you won’t go to medical rather than have me dig out these bullets is beyond me” mutters Maria as she carefully does her best.  Natasha comes here because that’s the most she’ll get in terms of questions.  

5\.  Natasha comes to Maria’s because it’s safe and relatively unknown to most.  It’s the last place someone like Steve or Tony would think to look.  Clint knows that if she doesn’t follow him home, to leave her to her own devices.  There is food and medical supplies and few questions.  But some concern.  Someone worried about her.  It feels like where she needs to be.  

6\.  She now has a key to Maria’s place and uses it more often than she does the window or balcony door anymore.  Now she snuggles into the sheets next to Maria.  

 


	13. ....Maria Died

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> for @Holllowshadowwolf

Maria has died a total of five times in her life.  Never expected but now she has someone who cares.  

1\.  The first time Maria dies, she’s ten years old.  She used to go swimming when her father took her to the beach house, when they still had it, to escape his drunkenness.  She had swum into the abyss, the darkness of the ocean to where everything was silent.  When she went to turn away and make her way back to shore, the current was too strong and she found herself being dragged further down and out.  The current eventually returns her to shore where she is dead, having drowned.  Moments later, there is a cough followed by another and another.  There’s a gasp and the hacking cough and throwing up of sea water.  Exhausted, Maria collapses, the water still running up around her feet. 

2\.  She’s in the army and moving with her unit when the vehicle leading their convoy is hit.  She’s in the truck behind it.  There is flame and bullets and smoke.  She doesn’t remember crawling away, trying to pull one of her men with her.  She doesn’t remember firing her weapon.  She does remember that when her body gives out, the sand almost feels cool against her cheek in comparison to the wreckage behind her.   She wakes up later in the medevac hospital.  The doctors are pleased to see her coming around.  She’d had swelling around the brain apparently on top of her burns.  They’d lost her twice. She wished she’d stayed lost when she learns she’s the only one of her team to survive.  

3\.  It’s not her first SHIELD mission, it’s not even her twentieth.  In all honesty she’s lost count.  She does remember that she was with Victoria Hand and Phil Coulson.  She’s hit squarely over her heart and it makes her heart stop and for a few brief moments her heart ceases to beat.  She wakes to Victoria’s worried gaze and Phil looking over his shoulder as he continues to shoot.  The mission had gone sideways from the beginning and showed no signs of getting better.  They make it out alive, just barely.  She simply feels so tired and death had almost been a kind reprieve.  

4\.  The fourth time is hidden from most.  A drone of some sort from AIM.  Only Fury and Pepper know.  She had fallen back to protect Pepper and gotten in the way of it’s electrical jolt.  It takes another jolt to bring her back.  She comes back with Fury looking at her and with her gun still in hand.  

5\.  The most recent time Maria died, Natasha was there.  Natasha with her flaming hair and steely green gaze telling her to hold on while she continues to bleed out from the cut to her femoral artery.  Clint’s trying to work a tourniquet and Natasha is trying to start an emergency transfusion but she can already feel her limbs going heavy.  They save her somehow, because that’s what Avengers do, but she’s never seen Natasha so worried.  When she wakes their hands are still together, their fingers intertwined.  She strokes Natasha’s cheek and vows to be more careful.  


End file.
